Talking On The Not So Bright Side
by MiracleBreaker
Summary: Jaden finds out his PDA has a chatroom feature. Abuse of chatrooms ensues. Chat-Fic with plot (FEATURES MANY 1-OFF CHARACTERS LIKE: DIMITRI, BRIAR, BELOWSKI etc...) Crossposted on AO3.
1. Chapter 1

**So unlike a fully written fanfic, a chat fic actually forces me to write a lower amount of stuff and in less detail. So I'm making one because I feel like it.**

**Note: This fanfic is unrelated to Dueling On The Not So Bright Side but similar events may occur. **

(Chapter 1: The Cast exists)

* * *

_**I was testing chat**_

**7:00 A.M**

**Jaden** has created **I was testing chat**_._

**Jaden**: Whoa, these PDA's have a chat room feature? Finally something useful! Heck yeah!

**Jaden** has invited **Alexis** to **I was testing chat**.

**Alexis** has joined **I was testing chat**.

**Alexis**: Wait… these PDA's have a chat room feature?

**Jaden**: apparently :P

**Jaden**: also

**Jaden** has changed his username to **Polymerization**.

**Alexis**: … fitting

**Alexis** has changed her username to **Cyber Blader**

**Polymerization**: Right back at ya! Nice name Lexi :)

**Cyber Blader**: Thx. :)

**7:30 A.M**

**Cyber Blader**: Hey Jaden, can I invite people?

**Polymerization**: I dunno can u?

**Cyber Blader**: Jaden no :/

**Polymerization**: Jaden yes!

**Cyber Blader**: So that means Jaden says yes to me inviting people then?

**Polymerization**: …

**Polymerization**: oh shit I have been outplayed

**Polymerization**: Absolutely bamboozled.

**Cyber Blader**: gottem

**Cyber Blader**: and sent

**Cyber Blader** has invited (6) others to **I was testing chat**.

**Zane** has joined **I was testing chat**.

**Zane**: … huh

**Polymerization**: Wassup Zane!

**Zane**: I forgot this feature existed. Hello Polymerization, who I am assuming is Jaden.

**Polymerization**: Well darn my secret identity has been revealed. My work as an underground hero has been foiled.

**Zane**: I mean you pretty much are a walking, talking Polymerization card tbf

**Polymerization**: Well, I take pride in what I am good at.

**Zane**: also

**Zane** has changed his username to **Eggman**

**Eggman**: I'll be honest, I think this is literally the only group chat ever made in Duel Academy. Congratulations Jaden, you have achieved something.

**Polymerization**: +Respect

**Eggman**: Mutual +Respect

**Cyber Blader**: "insert gta mission pass song here"

**Polymerization**: So, anyone else gonna join? The possibilities of a chat room are endless!

**Eggman**: Like studying?

**Polymerization**: No. I meant fun stuff, like chilling out with crew in the schoolyard.

**Eggman**: Can't you do that without the chat room?

**Polymerization**: Do you ever go to the schoolyard?

**Eggman**: Are you ever chill?

**Polymerization**: … fair enough

**Eggman**: … ditto.

**Eggman**: As for the others, I imagine Alexis invited her female friends to here, but I highly doubt they are awake right now.

**Polymerization**: Beauty Sleep amirite?

**Jasmine** has joined **I was testing chat**.

**Jasmine**: I have heard the soul of a fool who wishes to challenge the power of beauty sleep. Prepare to perish mortal for I am woke.

**Polymerization**: Oh damn, now I hear boss music.

**Eggman**: Alright then. It seems I was wrong about them being awake.

**Jasmine**: ? :0

**Eggman**: Scroll up.

**Jasmine** has changed her username to **KuriTHOT**

**KuriTHOT**: Wait a second… I just realized I'm using this on my PDA and not my phone. Wait, there is a chat room feature on this? How in the hell have we never noticed this?

**KuriTHOT**: Ah and I just scrolled up. Alrighty then, I guess I should wake up Mindy.

**Polymerization**: Oh dear Ra, no…

**Polymerization**: … um Zane help

**Eggman**: You dug your own Foolish Burial

**Cyber Blader**: We will pay Royal Tribute at your funeral /(._.)/

**Polymerization**: asdfaxg stop it

**Mindy** has joined **I was testing chat**.

**Mindy** has changed her username to **Minty Girl**

**Polymerization**: Huh. That's actually a proper username.

**Minty Girl**: Wow Jaden, what were you expecting boyo?

**Polymerization**: Something a lot more 18+. But it seems even you can sometimes be appropriate.

**Minty Girl**: Hey! I'm not that bad?

**Cyber Blader**: Don't be fooled Jaden. Minty Girl is referring to the brand of contraception she uses.

**Polymerization**: …

**Polymerization**: adhjdgkdthvjdjjshjcmjxgkvud

**Minty Girl**: Yassss

**KuriTHOT**: Yass girl!

**Polymerization**: asfdagvc

**Polymerization**: *screeches of the damned*

**Eggman**: and the Jaden Broken counter has been increased to 1.

**Bastion** has joined **I was testing chat**.

**Bastion**: Did I hear the Jaden Broken Counter?

**Eggman**: Yes. Yes you did.

**Bastion** has changed his username to **The Methematician **

**The Methematician**: Ehem, well, interesting invitation Alexis, though I highly doubt this chat will ever be used for anything productive, I suppose some additional communication would help us with other things.

**Polymerization**: … I was half expecting Bastion to type the same thing everyone else typed first, but apparently not.

**The Methematician**: … well I may have also never noticed this feature until now. Possibly.

**Cyber Blader**: Exposed. :/

**Polymerization **has changed **The Methematician**'s username to **The Memematician**

**Polymerization**: Atrocity of a username fixed.

**The Memematician**: Ok then. Not going to question it.

**Polymerization**: First time for everything I suppose.

**The Memematician**: haha very funny

**Syrus** has joined **I was testing chat**.

**Polymerization**: Wait. why do I hear boss music?

**Syrus** has changed his username to **Lightning McQueen**

**Lightning McQueen**: Jaden. I am absolutely livid rn.

**Polymerization**: THE MUSIC IS GETTING LOUDER. /:0

**Lightning McQueen**: Jaden, we are literally in the same room rn! Why didn't you invite me to this room?

**Lightning McQueen**: I thought we were friends Jaden!

**Polymerization**: um about that. I can explain.

**Polymerization**: …

**Polymerization**: … I forgot?

**Eggman**: Typical Jaden.

**Cyber Blader**: mood

**The Memematician**: mood

**Lightning McQueen**: *boss music intensifies*

**Polymerization**: asfgf screw u guys then

**11:00 A.M (Lunch Period)**

**Belowski** has joined **I was testing chat.**

**Polymerization**: … wait who invited…

**Polymerization**: Alexis why do you have Belowski in your contacts.

**Belowski** has changed his username to **Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: Yoooo Jaden brooo.

**Polymerization**: … Alexis please answer.

**Cyber Blader**: Sorry, I logged off to study.

**Cyber Blader**: Idk (.-.) he was just there so I invited him.

**Polymerization**: … alrighty then.

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: Iiiii can explain.

**Polymerization**: ?

**Cyber Blader**: ?

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: Yooour duel spirits girl. They were compelled by the Mokey Mokey. They gave me your nummberr

**Polymerization**: Oh shit, Alexis get a new deck NOW.

**Cyber Blader**: Umm ok. But how does that explain anything

**Polymerization**: Alexis I repeat, trash the deck, it's infected. We can't have another Mokey Mokey outbreak plsssssss. I'm screaming for you to desist with the deck!

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: Mokey Mokey

**Cyber Blader**: Mokey Mokey

**Eggman**: Mokey Mokey

**Lightning McQueen**: Mokey Mokey

**Minty Girl**: Mokey Mokey

**The Memematician**: Mokey Mokey

**KuriTHOT**: Mokey Mokey

**Polymerization**: adgdagdsdhd _*cries in Kuriboh flashbacks* _

**Minty Girl**: XD

**KuriTHOT**: Ya know, his hair does kind of look like a Kuriboh...

**Cyber Blader**: … now that you mention it...

**Polymerization**: ADSFDHDD This chat was a mistake.

**Polymerization**: But screw it, might as well invite everybody else!

**Polymerization** has invited (7) others to **I was testing chat**

**Damien** has joined **I am testing chat. **

**Damien**: Um, Zane since when was there a chat room feature on the PDA? It wasn't here when I left the academy before.

**Eggman**: Actually it was, we just never noticed.

**Damien**: Huh… how?

**Eggman**: Who knows? Makes a great conversation topic apparently though.

**Damien** has changed his username to **Card Game Tarzan **

**Card Game Tarzan**: ?

**Card Game Tarzan**: oh. Nvm, just scrolled up.

**Dimitri** has joined **I am testing chat. **

**Dimitri** has changed his username to **Neito Monoma **

**Neito Monoma**: Um.

**The Memematician**: Yes, this feature has somehow escaped the collective consciousness of the other individuals here, including even our top students. Frankly, I'm surprised out of all of us that Jaden was the one to make this remarkable discovery.

**Neito Monoma**: …

**Neito Monoma**: can someone explain that without the paragraph?

**Lightning McQueen**: We all just discovered this feature today. You aren't special. Go fuck yourself Dimitri because whilst fucking yourself you can't copy anyone and you will finally be yourself.

**Neito Monoma**: :(

**Cyber Blader**: Wow Syrus, savage.

**KuriTHOT**: seconded

**Minty Girl**: thirded

**Polymerization**: fourthed

**Neito Monoma**: :((((((

**Polymerization**: Cool name reference tho.

**Neito Monoma**: :) Thanks bro, you watch MHA too?

**Polymerization**: Have you seen my deck?

**Neito Monoma**: Fair enough.

**Briar** has joined **I am testing chat. **

**Briar** has changed his username to **Megamind**

**Beauregard** has joined **I am testing chat. **

**Beauregard** has changed his username to **Heavy Weapons Guy**

**Megamind**: Yo.

**Heavy Weapons Guy**: Hello everyone.

**Polymerization**: And the Duel Giant Duo has arrived!

**Megamind**: Oh hey Jaden. Mind telling me how you know my PDA number?

**Polymerization**: How about no.

**Megamind**: Jaden. Tell me now.

**Polymerization**: How about no.

**Eggman**: Jaden asked me for it.

**Megamind**: … oh, well that's not what I was expecting.

**Polymerization**: What the heck were you expecting?

**Megamind**: Extortion, Blackmail, Stalking… Hacking.

**The Memematician**: Jaden is a bit too unstudious and unsubtle to do any of those… as far as I believe.

**Polymerization**: I receive no chill in this chatroom.

**Neito Monoma**: You don't even get chill anyways :/

**Polymerization**: wdym

**Neito Monoma**: Do you not remember how you met me, Briar, Beauregard, Belowski, Zane or Damien?

**Polymerization**: Just more reminders about how much Crowler hates me.

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: Wooaaahmaaan, Beauregard joined? wasssupp.

**Heavy Weapons Guy**: Um. Who are you?

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: It's your old buddy Belowski maaaan!

**Heavy Weapons Guy**: Uh? Briar do I know a Belowski?

**Megamind**: I think you met him like a month b4 the duel giant thing. Remember that metal sphere we found under the chicken coop?

**Heavy Weapons Guy**: Oh yeah! Him.

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: That day was so Mokey Mokey, I felt like so floaty floaty.

**Heavy Weapons Guy**: mood, haven't had a good rest like that in years.

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: The Mokey Mokey don't discriminate.

**Megamind**: Mokey Mokey

**Heavy Weapons Guy**: Mokey Mokey

**Polymerization**: It's spreading D:

**Cyber Blader**: I think lunch is gonna end soon, we should probably head back to class.

**Eggman**: Way ahead of you :/

**The Memematician**: mood

**Cyber Blader**: Expected :/

**Polymerization**: Sy, can you help me wake Chumley up? He fell asleep and I can't wake him up.

**Lightning McQueen**: Jaden.

**Polymerization**: pls

**Lightning McQueen**: I'm literally already in class rn.

**Polymerization**: D:

**5:00 P.M**

**Polymerization**: …

**Lightning McQueen**:

**Eggman**: ?

**Cyber Blader**: Is this about what happened during gym today?

**Lightning McQueen**: Yup. Jaden is pure Slifer atm.

**Megamind**: So is he sick with a fever or blushing crimson?

**Lightning McQueen**: The latter. He's also studying for once in a vain attempt at trying to distract himself.

**The Memematician**: W H A T

**Neito Monoma**: The apocalypse begins!

**Megamind**: The Yellow Squad concurs. that is a problem.

**Megamind**: how.

**Cyber Blader**: Honestly, I think our resident dense cinnamon roll just finally reached his limit.

**Card Game Tarzan**: Wait wait, Hold the phone. WHAt?

**Eggman**: WHAT. HAPPENED.

**Lightning McQueen**: …

**Lightning McQueen** has changed **Minty Girl**'s username to **THOT**

**THOT**: Oi!

**Cyber Blader**: I mean you kinda deserve it.

**Eggman**: ALRIGHT, THIS EXPLAINS WHO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH, BUT WTF HAPPENED ALEXIS.

**THOT**: You can "deal" with me anytime Zane~

**Eggman**: …

**Eggman**: Is it possible to delete texts?

**Cyber Blader**: Idk and to answer your other question, Jasmine decided it would be a good idea to make a bet with Mindy to see if she can make Jaden match his uniform colour. The prize was a ghost-rare Marshmallon card.

**Card Game Tarzan**: ...Ok, I can see where this is going.

**KuriTHOT**: Ok in my defense, I underestimated how far Mindy would go.

**Cyber Blader**: dw, I don't blame you in the slightest.

**THOT**: :/ I mean, it's a free card. Sue me.

**Card Game Tarzan**: Maybe I will. Hey Briar, be my lawyer!

**Megamind**: Job accepted. But I demand payment if we win.

**Card Game Tarzan**: I'll give you the next golden eggwich I draw.

**Megamind**: Payment plan accepted.

**Cyber Blader**: Mindy ffs, you FLASHED him!

**THOT**: and your point?

**Megamind**: and the evidence begins to pile up :/

**Card Game Tarzan**: A thicc case indeed.

**Cyber Blader**: Then you forcefully lifted my skirt up!

**THOT**: … and your point?

**KuriTHOT**: Then you threw me at him as you somehow unhooked my bra, so my chest ended up in his face. (:/)

**THOT**: … and your point?

**Eggman**: …

**Cyber Blader**: …

**KuriTHOT**: …

**Megamind**: …

**Card Game Tarzan**: …

**Lightning McQueen**: …

**Lightning McQueen** has changed **THOT**'s username to **MEGA THOT**.

**MEGA THOT**: Hey!

**Megamind**: Wait, if we are suing her, who will be the judge?

**The Memematician**: …

**The Memematician** has changed his username to **Judge Man**

**Judge Man**: Did I hear someone call for some legal ramifications? Because I am qualified to be a judge in Japan, America and Brazil.

**Megamind**: Um. Ok. But why though.

**Judge Man**: Long story short, I got bored and wandered into a University on accident when I was 14. I left the premises with several degrees in Law.

**Card Game Tarzan**: that just raises more questions.

**Eggman**: Is it really that weird? I also have several masters degrees.

**Megamind**: Ditto

**Lightning McQueen**: Showoffs.

**Neito Monoma**: Ditto.

**Lightning McQueen**: Nobody cares Dimitri.

**Neito Monoma**: Hello darkness my old friend…

**Judge Man**: Look do you want a judge or not?

**Megamind**: … ok you're hired.

**Cyber Blader**: I choose to testify as a witness

**KuriTHOT**: seconded

**Lightning McQueen**: thirded

**Judge Man**: Alright. Order in the court! As we are high school students, I'm going to make this easy and simplify everything.

**Judge Man**: Oh… uh also Briar has just sent me a very long Word document with all of his evidence. Huh, he works fast.

**Judge Man**: Anyhow, Mindy, you are here because you got sued and … dear lord… um, in addition you face 3 counts of Sexual Assault, Mischeif, Animal Cruelty, Public Nudity, Degradation of Education Property, Possession of Contraband, Causing Fire Hazards, Defamation and Jaywalking. How do you plead?

**MEGA THOT**: Not guilty. Not paying a dime.

**Judge Man**: Ok, now to simplify everything, I'm just going to forward Briars document to everyone, since it is basically everything he needs to prosecute you.

**Judge Man** has posted to **I was testing chat**

**Cyber Blader**: … huh he does work fast.

**Lightning McQueen**: I am jealous of how fast you can type Briar.

**Megamind**: I'll take that as a compliment.

**Judge Man**: Wait a second, who's the defending lawyer?

**Card Game Tarzan**: There is none.

**Judge Man**: … well that further simplifies everything. Mindy, you are guilty. Own up.

**MEGA THOT**: Hey! Bs, I call for trial by combat.

**Judge Man**: Not in the rules. You can't do that.

**MEGA THOT**: What rules?

**Judge Man**: The… wait what country are we in?

**Cyber Blader**: None, this island escapes the borders of all countries nearby.

**Judge Man**: Ah. well whatever then, since this is Duel Academy, trial by combat it is! Syrus, you bring Jaden to the Ra Yellow arena, Alexis will bring Mindy, I'll go get us permission and then you will duel.

**Lightning McQueen**: Seriously? We are letting her get away with this?

**Judge Man**: Think about it.

**Lightning McQueen**: … oh wait this is perfect.

**MEGA THOT**: ?

**Eggman**: … Not that I'm complaining, but you do understand Jaden has only lost to one person. And that person is me.

**MEGA THOT**: … oh... … shit, I hereby rescind my call for trial by combat.

**Judge Man**: Denied.

**MEGA THOT**: Objection!

**Judge Man**: Overruled.

**MEGA THOT**: You can't do this tomfiahidlfa dytchusji

**MEGA THOT**: Hey, this is Alexis, me and Jasmine have Mindy, we are heading over to the arena.

**Judge Man**: I have obtained the necessary permissions, tally on over!

**Card Game Tarzan**: Well, that escalated quickly. I'll be over in a sec.

**Lightning McQueen**: I'll go get Jaden.

**Neito Monoma**: Well, now that this is a thing… Anyone wanna open up a betting pool?

**Eggman**: Dimitri, ante duels are strictly prohibited on this island and you are also on thin ice for your little stunt with Yugi's deck.

**Neito Monoma**: Your point?

**Eggman**: … 3 SR copies of Machine Duplication on Jaden winning on turn 7.

**Judge Man**: Zane! I am absolutely appalled that you supporting this unsustainable movement. Gambling is a terrible sport and it drives men to the gutters! How could you?

**Neito Monoma**: So?

**Judge Man**: … 2 SR copies of Yatagarasu on Jaden winning on turn 5

**Card Game Tarzan**: Ah, what the heck. 1 UR copy of Mirror Force on Jaden winning on turn 9.

**Megamind**: This has truly escalated beyond what I imagined… also 2 UR copies of Card of Demise on Jaden winning but Mindy using "tactics" to throw him off.

**Lightning McQueen**: Jaden's logging back on. Also 2 SR copies of Monster Reborn on Jaden winning on turn 1.

**Neito Monoma**: Seriously?

**Eggman**: Um Syrus, I know you have a lot of confidence in Jaden because he is your best friend and everything but, isn't that a bit… much?

**Judge Man**: Has Jaden ever FTK'ed? Can E - Heroes even FTK?

**Megamind**: Does Syrus even know that he loses the bet if Jaden goes second?

**Polymerization**: What bet? Oh wow, lots of new messages. What did I miss?

**Eggman**: We'll explain later, just go over to the Ra Yellow arena.

**Polymerization**: Why?

**Judge Man**: We have set up a duel for you.

**Polymerization**: Oh, sweet, I'll be right over!

**Lightning McQueen**: Well that was easy.

**Megamind**: Oh right, I believe I am now owed an eggwich.

**Card Game Tarzan**: Noted.

**10:00 P.M**

**Lightning McQueen**: WOOOOO GET YOINKED! VICTORYYYYYY!

**Eggman**: I don't know if I should be happy he won the bet, or absolutely appalled at the fact he won the bet.

**Cyber Blader**: You guys were betting?

**Eggman**: I lost 3 copies of Machine Duplication to Jaden's first FTK.

**Cyber Blader**: Yikes.

**Megamind**: Tell me about it.

**Judge Man**: I believe the correct slang term here is mood.

**Card Game Tarzan**: mood

**Polymerization**: Well, that ended quickly.

**MEGA THOT**: Way too quickly~ 0/10 would not do again.

**Polymerization **has banned **MEGA THOT** from **I was testing chat **for 3 days **(Reason:** **Payment 4 being Sued)**

**Polymerization**: And there goes the Mindy. You will not be missed.

**Cyber Blader**: The spoils of war are showing.

**KuriTHOT**: I had no idea you could loop Monster Eye's effect over and over and keep discarding Polymerization to inflict damage using that other trap you used. I'm actually impressed.

**Judge Man**: This is why I want Makyura the Destructor BANNED. This bs cannot be a real first turn play.

**Polymerization**: But my combo tho.

**Eggman**: Don't worry Jaden. It was a good combo.

**Polymerization**: :D

**Chumley** has joined **I was testing chat**

**Chumley** has changed his username to **Down Under**

**Down Under**: Sup.

**Polymerization**: About time Chum! I invited you like half a day ago!

**Down Under**: I was busy.

**Lightning McQueen**: *doubt*

**Polymerization**: *doubt*

**Down Under**: I reiterate, I was busy.

**Cyber Blader**: Chumley? ...Oh right, you invited 7 people… wait who are the other 2 people then?

**Polymerization**: Rosewood and Chazz.

**Lightning McQueen**: Wait, why them?

**Polymerization**: Cuz I felt like it. If they act outta line, I'll just ban them.

**Lightning McQueen**: Fair enough.

**Neito Monoma**: Anyone want to open a betting pool on how fast they get banned?

**Cyber Blader**: How bout no.

**Eggman**: I think the rest of us have had enough betting today.

**Neito Monoma**: Aw.

**Eggman**: Well, I'm logging off, Alexis. Lighthouse. Now.

**Cyber Blader**: dw I'm on my way.

**KuriTHOT**: Sooo, now that resident card game daddy has left… anyone want to plan a party anytime soon? We've been on this island for weeks now, and I need a party.

**Lightning McQueen**: PFFFFFFFT. Card Game Daddy? _I can't breathe_

**Polymerization**: _I'm_ _wheezing_

**Lightning McQueen **has changed **Eggman**'s username to **Card Game Daddy**

**Judge Man**: Well, I suppose we have mostly been up to academics for a while now, and the weekend is in 2 days… I suppose we could plan a get-together.

**Polymerization**: Yeah, a party sounds sweet!

**KuriTHOT**: Where would we hold it though.

**Lightning McQueen**: Not our dorms. 99% sure if we invite everyone, the floor would collapse.

**KuriTHOT**: um

**Judge Man**: Please tell me you are joking Syrus.

**Polymerization**: He isn't joking. I might have said a bunch of positives about living in Slifer Red when I got here, but after living here for a while, the only thing keeping me from leaving is nostalgia and pride.

**Judge Man**: ...

**Judge Man**: Well, structural integrity of the Slifer dorms aside, I highly doubt anyone would enjoy a party in my dorm.

**Neito Monoma**: Yeah, it's kinda basic. Like, BASIC.

**Judge Man**: That is a bit harsh. I believe the equations on the walls of my dorm bring some life into it. It's just not good for parties.

**Neito Monoma**: Yeah, it brings life into your room after people realize it isn't wallpaper and was all manually drawn.

**Judge Man**: … you got me there.

**Polymerization**: I don't think the Blue Bois would let us Slifers in. And it's illegal for us males to transcend to the female dorms. Sooooo where we holding this party at?

**Neito Monoma**: hm. Quite the conundrum

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: yoooooooooo did I hear somebody say party?

**Polymerization**: … maybe

**Lightning McQueen**: Wait, don't you live in a gigantic underground sphere?

**Polymerization**: He does….

**Polymerization**: hmmmm

**Neito Monoma**: Wait a second, hypothetically if we trespass school chicken property and break into Belowskis sphere, won't we get affected by the power of Belowski if we go in?

**Polymerization**: Um, That sounds like a you problem.

**Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**: My prrobbbleem iiisss dueeel only bruh. We can totes chilllll as long as dueling becomes a no-no.

**KuriTHOT**: Well, location has been sniped. Party is a go. Now let's assign roles.

**Megamind**: A little birdie told me about a party. In other words I scrolled up. I can break into Belowskis vault.

**Polymerization**: Perfect! Then I'll distract Crowler.

**KuriTHOT**: … um why do we need to distract Crowler? Sure there is a curfew but it isn't enforced :/.

**Polymerization**: Because I dislike him.

**KuriTHOT**: Fair enough, anyone else gonna help?

**Lightning McQueen**: I have access to many drinks. In other words Dorothy owes me a favour.

**Judge Man**: I may be able to convince our dorm head to supply us with consumables.

**Neito Monoma**: I got entertainment that isn't related to Duel Monsters.

**KuriTHOT**: Cool, Then I will manage invitations.

**Polymerization**: Fine with me as long as you exclude Mindy.

**KuriTHOT**: noted.

**Polymerization**: and with that plan finalized, imma log off.

**Megamind**: ?

**Polymerization**: Deckbuilding.

**Megamind**: Ah, well then see you tomorrow Jaden.

**Polymerization**: Yeah, You too and everyone don't forget to Get your game on!

**Megamind**: …

**KuriTHOT**: Um what does getting our game on have to do with anything.

**Polymerization**: … idk. Just roll with it.

**Jaden - Polymerization **

**Syrus - Lightning McQueen **

**Chumley - Down Under**

**Alexis - Cyber Blader**

**Chazz - ?**

**Bastion - Judge Man **

**Zane - Card Game Daddy **

**Dimitri - Neito Monoma**

**Briar - Megamind **

**Beauregard - Heavy Weapons Guy**

**Harrison - ?**

**Belowski - Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**

**Damien - Card Game Tarzan**

**Jasmine - KuriTHOT **

**Mindy - MEGA THOT**

* * *

**So yeah, this happened and this will probably update if it hits off. Or not, idk but I won't use college as an excuse. I'll use laziness :/. Either way, I don't usually write this memey stuff, so please send a review to tell me what else to write about. -Miracle **


	2. Chapter 2

**It's time for another chapter woooooo. **

**Jaden - Polymerization **

**Syrus - Lightning McQueen **

**Chumley - Down Under**

**Alexis - Cyber Blader**

**Chazz - ?**

**Bastion - Judge Man **

**Zane - Card Game Daddy **

**Dimitri - Neito Monoma**

**Briar - Megamind **

**Beauregard - Heavy Weapons Guy**

**Harrison - ?**

**Belowski - Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**

**Damien - Card Game Tarzan**

**Jasmine - KuriTHOT **

**Mindy - MEGA THOT**

(Chapter 2: F*ck this shit I'm out)

_**I was testing chat**_

**5:00 A.M**

**Lightning McQueen**: Who in the fuck poisoned the soup!

**Card Game Tarzan**: Um

**Card Game Tarzan**: Syrus why are you awake right now?

**Lightning McQueen**: Someone poisoned ou P.

**Card Game Tarzan**: That doesn't explain anything about why you are awake, It's 5 in the morning. I'll ask again, why are you awake?

**Lightning McQueen**: I crave P. And now I cannot have that because someone poisoned the **S O U P.**

**Card Game Tarzan**: wtfdym

**Lightning McQueen**: Someone thought it would be a good idea to throw all of the soup cans into the cupboard, instead of just placing the damn soup inside normally. Now all of them are dented and spoiled!

**Card Game Tarzan**: Um Ok then. I will take your word for it I guess.

**Lightning McQueen**: Hey wait a second, you're awake too!

**Card Game Tarzan**: You just noticed?

**Lightning McQueen**: If you're so invested in why I'm awake then why are you awake Damien.

**Card Game Tarzan**: I'm Card Game Tarzan. I need time to exercise and wrestle Monkeys. That is what I do every morning.

**Lightning McQueen**: Really? Wrestling monkeys?

**Card Game Tarzan**: Yeah, there's even one that duels too. This island is full of surprises. And monkeys.

**Lightning McQueen**: Huh. So that explains what Wheeler is up to. I wondered what happened to him. Now I know you apparently wrestle with him… on a daily basis… huh.

**Card Game Tarzan**: Wait you actually believe me? Scratch that, you met this dueling monkey before?

**Lightning McQueen**: Yeah, me, Jaden, Alexis and the wonder duo had a harrowing encounter with that dueling monkey while looking for Chazz when he decided to be an emo bitch boi.

**Chazz** has joined **I was testing chat.**

**Lightning McQueen**: … ah

**Card Game Tarzan**: … wait why is he awake?

**Chazz** has changed his username to **Chazz the Thunder**.

**Chazz** has changed his username to **Chazz IT UP!**.

**Chazz** has changed his username to **THE CHAZZ**.

**Lightning McQueen**: can you pick one already bitch boi?

**Chazz** has changed his username to **You Go Bye-Bye**.

**You Go Bye-Bye**: who are you calling bitch boi you slifer slacking piece of can-throwing reckless, soup-sucking short-ass looking bitch

**You Go Bye-Bye**: and for your information damien, i'm awake because the kitchen, a.k.a the floor beneath was full of metal clanging and syrus screaming a few minutes ago. how the fuck am i supposed to sleep when short ass syrus is playing with fucking pots and pans in the earliest possible fucking time in the morning!1

**Card Game Tarzan**: … ah

**Lightning McQueen**: GET SOME EARPLUGS BITCH BOI, SOMEONE FUCKING POSIONED THE SOUP

**You Go Bye-Bye**: WHO CARES YOU DMG FAPPING SHORT ASS SLACKER

**Polymerization **has banned **You Go Bye-Bye** from **I was testing chat **for 1 day **(Reason:** **I know you're mad but shut up and deal with it with a duel later).**

**Card Game Tarzan**: ...and Jaden is awake now?

**Lightning McQueen**: Nope, he woke up for a second, did that and then immediately fell back asleep again :/

**Card Game Tarzan**: Not surprising.

**Card Game Tarzan**: anyways, back to the topic of the dueling monkey … did you win against him in your "harrowing encounter" ?

**Lightning McQueen**: No, Jaden was the one who dueled him.

**Card Game Tarzan**: … so he won?

**Lightning McQueen**: Ye

**Card Game Tarzan**: Of course he won. But anyhow I'm logging off, PDA doesn't do well with waterfalls.

**Lightning McQueen**: Wait

**Lightning McQueen**: Wait

**Lightning McQueen**: Woah

**Lightning McQueen**: Wait, you were exercising while chatting with me?

**Card Game Tarzan**: Yeah, swinging from tree to tree is hard with one hand, but my strides in the Draw Power Workout (™) guarantees true power and preci H MB x da c

**Lightning McQueen**: ?

**Card Game Tarzan**: I fell.

**Lightning McQueen**: Oof.

**7:00 A.M**

**Polymerization**: You know being awake at 5:00 isn't healthy considering you go to sleep at midnight Sy.

**Lightning McQueen**: Don't talk to me Jaden, I know it was you.

**Polymerization**: It wasn't me! I don't even go into the kitchen. Like. Ever.

**Down Under**: Jaden you know that is a lie. It's not licious to lie.

**Polymerization**: How would you know Chum?

**Lightning McQueen**: Because he spends most of his time there too.

**Down Under**: Sad, but true.

**Polymerization**: But I was dueling Mindy yesterday instead of doing my dorm chores. It can't be me!

**Lightning McQueen**: ...

**Down Under**: ...

**Lightning McQueen**: Is that why there is dirty laundry everywhere?

**Polymerization**: ...maybe

**Down Under**: You still need to do that. It's my turn today and I am not doing double duty.

**Polymerization**: … Anyone wanna see a magic trick?

**Lightning McQueen**: Jaden no.

**Down Under**: Bruh. Don't ignore us. That isn't licious and you know it.

**Lightning McQueen**: Don't avoid your responsibility Jaden!

**Down Under**: YOUR IGNORANCE IS PROOF OF YOUR GUILTINESS!

**Polymerization **has invited **Wheeler **to **I was testing chat**.

**Lightning McQueen**: ...

**Down Under**: …

**Wheeler **has joined **I was testing chat**.

**Wheeler** has changed his username to **Curious George.**

**Card Game Tarzan**: asghsgy HOW.

**Lightning McQueen**: Jaden EXPLAIN YOURSELF.

**Cyber Blader**: :0 what witchcraft have I just come upon

**KuriTHOT **has left **I was testing chat (Reason:** **Fuck this shit I'm out ^(._.^)).**

**Cyber Blader**: That was quick.

**Curious George**: Is she still salt about that? Had no choice. Did not want bullet up ass.

**Lightning McQueen**: HE TALKS.

**Card Game Daddy**: Who changed my username? Also, why does my PDA have so many messages?

**Cyber Blader**: Scroll up.

**Card Game Daddy**: Ah.

**Lightning McQueen**: uhoh

**Card Game Daddy**: **ゴ ゴ ゴ** So it was you who betrayed me Syrus. **ゴ ゴ ゴ**

**Polymerization**: Exposed.

**Cyber Blader**: Rip Sy, I will bury what's left of you.

**Down Under**: There will be many F's in your honour, you valiant soldier.

**Card Game Tarzan**: wait wait wait, are we just going to suddenly ignore the fact that a monkey has joined our chat?

**Polymerization**: Nah, Sy's imminent death is more important.

**Curious George**: Ook.

**Down Under**: Agreed.

**Card Game Daddy**: We can deal with Jaden's blatant disregard for the laws of biology later. Right now, I have a disappointment to punish.

**Lightning McQueen**: pls no :

**Card Game Daddy**: ** ゴ**

**Card Game Tarzan**: OK I'M IN THE BLUE DORM HALLWAY RN AND ZANE JUST SLAMMED OPEN HIS DOOR.

**Card Game Tarzan**: HE JUST BOLTED OUT OF THE DORMS IN HIS PJS AND IS STAMPEDING IN THE DIRECTION OF THE SLIFER DORMS.

**Lightning McQueen**: OH FRICK JADEN PLS HELP ME HIDE.

**Polymerization**: oh wow suddenly I care about the large lot of dirty laundry around here. might as well clean it up since I clearly have nothing better to do.

**Lightning McQueen**: Jaden please

**Polymerization**: Is somebody talking? Cuz all I hear is a little frickhead who refused to help me yesterday.

**Neito Monoma**: Um can someone explain why a blue, bunny-looking blur just zoomed past the Yellow Dorm yelling something about "throwing Syrus into a merry-go-round and then spinning it at full speed".

**Lightning McQueen**: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Card Game Tarzan**: Zane is arriving in T Minus 40 seconds

**Cyber Blader**: Card Game Daddy is **M A D**

**Card Game Daddy**: Et Tu Alexis?

**Cyber Blader: **Wait you still have your PDA?

**Card Game Daddy**: **ゴ ゴ ゴ** Yes, and also you are next. **ゴ ゴ ゴ**

**Cyber Blader**: …

**Cyber Blader**: Nonnonono NONONON SO MUCH NOPE

**Cyber Blader **has left **I was testing chat (Reason:** **Bleep this shit I ain't messing with Angry Zane ^(._.^)).**

**Card Game Daddy: **Damn, can't track her anymore.

**Polymerization: **…

**Neito Monoma: **...

**Card Game Tarzan: **…

**Lightning McQueen: **…

**Card Game Daddy**: ...

**Lightning McQueen**: ah

**Lightning McQueen **has left **I was testing chat (Reason:** **Fuck this shit I'm being tracked ^(._.^)).**

**Card Game Daddy: **SHIT.

**Polymerization**: omg Zane swore :0

**Card Game Tarza**n: Yes. Yes he did.

**Curious George**: Odd Screaming Boy Is Running Past Me Tree.

**Card Game Tarzan**: Huh, I wrestle with the monkeys in the forest near the Slifer dorms.. So that must mean...

**Down Under**: Oh, Zane's outside.

**Car Game Tarzan**: Thought so.

**Card Game Daddy**: … Jaden if you tell me where Syrus is hiding, I will let you challenge me again for a duel.

**Polymerization**: uh can't I do that at any time?

**Card Game Daddy**: … I'll throw in a Parallel Rare copy of Polymerization.

**Polymerization**: …

**Polymerization**: FRIENDSHIP WITH SYRUS ENDED, I'M FRIENDS WITH ZANE NOW.

**Down Under**: Oh wow, Zane really knows how to push Jaden's buttons.

**Neito Monoma**: He's the Kaiser. He knows how to push everyone's buttons.

**Down Under**: Except Mindy.

**Neito Monoma**: Nobody wants to push her buttons :/

**Curious George**: I grab brown girl, easy target, safe target, not Mindy target.

**Neito Monoma**: Lmao even the monkeys don't want to get near Mindy

**Card Game Tarzan**: Only Bastion can even begin to match Zane when it comes to his peers buttons. And even his intellect may not be enough.

**Judge Man**: I heard my name and intellect being slandered, what the bollocks is happening.

**Judge Man**: …

**Judge Man**: … oh that is happening. Rest In Peace Syrus. He was not abstentious enough towards his brother and his lack of acumen will prevent his escape. As Alexis seems to have escaped the cynosure, I'll be the one to bury Syrus.

**Card Game Tarzan**: What.

**Neito Monoma**: He's saying that because Alexis is gone, he is the one who will take up the job of burying

**Card Game Tarzan**: Wait you can understand Bastion?

**Neito Monoma**: Bruh, I'm the copycat duelist. I can perfectly mimic anyone. I don't think those associated with the dub would know, but I'm actually canonically someone who can mimic the thought processes and psychologically mimic someone else down to the finest detail. Also, he recently became my new roommate, because of a 30 foot hornet nest, being found in one of the walls of my room.

**Card Game Tarzan**: What?

**Neito Monoma**: The answer is yes.

**Card Game Tarzan**: Oh. Cool.

**Polymerization**: EY! NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

**Neito Monoma**: Sorry.

**Polymerization**: Anyhow Zane, Sy is at the shore where we dueled for the first time.

**Card Game Daddy**: Noted. And Alexis?

**Polymerization**: how would I know that?

**Card Game Daddy**: Fair enough, I'll drop the card when I pass by the Slifer Dorms.

**Polymerization**: Sweet!

**10:00 A.M**

**Card Game Daddy**: Justice has been dealt with. Also.

**Card Game Daddy** has changed his name to **Dr. Robotnik**

**Dr. Robotnik**: Much better.

**Card Game Tarzan**: … So, weren't we going to talk about Jaden's blatant disregard for the laws of Biology?

**Dr. Robotnik**: Yes. I do believe so.

**Curious George**: Is Biology Disaster you speak, is me?

**Card Game Tarzan**: Yes. Yes it is you Wheeler. No offense by the way.

**Curious George**: No offended. Me Also slightly confused at current circumstance.

**Polymerization**: Anyone wanna see a magic trick?

**Neito Monoma**: oh no

**Dr. Robotnik**: Good grief.

**Curious George**: Ook.

**Card Game Tarzan**: … I want to say no, but you're gonna show us anyways.

**Polymerization** has invited (3) others to **I was testing chat**.

**Jinzo** has joined **I was testing chat.**

**Torrey** has joined **I was testing chat.**

**Blair** has joined **I was testing chat.**

**Torrey **has left **I was testing chat (Reason:** **Fuck this shit I've learned my lesson ^(._.^)).**

**Dr. Robotnik**: …

**Card Game Tarzan**: Wha…

**Dr. Robotnik**: Jaden… how.

**Polymerization**: Which one?

**Dr. Robotnik**: The fact you need us to specify makes this so much more absurd.

**Judge Man**: Why don't you begin Jaden with explaining how in the bloody hell you managed to get a dueling monkey into this group chat?

**Polymerization**: Oh, ok.

**Polymerization**: Well, I discovered last night that Wheeler's headgear is PDA based. Idk why, it just happened to have a signal that could be picked up by my own PDA, so I pinged the duel disk associated with it using my own PDA to contact Wheeler and then I managed to establish a communication link get Wheeler to create an account on the duel disk, which gave him access to our group chat and also possibly registered him as a student at the academy. Then, I invited him.

**Card Game Tarzan**: …

**Dr. Robotnik**: ...

**Neito Monoma**: ...

**Judge Man**: ah… my surprise is immeasurable

**Dr. Robotnik**: Hey, remember when we said that Jaden couldn't hack?

**Neito Monoma**: Yeah

**Dr. Robotnik**: I'm changing my opinion

**Card Game Tarzan**: Same.

**Judge Man**: Same.

**Jinzo** has changed his username to **Dot EXE**.

**Dot EXE**: WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER.

**Card Game Tarzan**: oh yeah he's here. JADEN WHAT THE FLIPPING FUCK.

**Polymerization**: i can explain

**Neito Monoma**: PLEASE DO.

**Judge Man**: … I have so many bloody questions.

**Neito Monoma**: THERE IS A FUCKING SPIRIT BEING IN THE GROUPCHAT

**Neito Monoma**: HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK.

**Dot EXE**: THAT… THAT IS A QUESTION I ALSO HAVE.

**Polymerization**: …

**Dr. Robotnik**: Jaden…

**Polymerization**: …

**Neito Monoma**: _You feel your sins crawling on your back… and your deck… and the back of your deck_

**Polymerization**: ok ok ok… i maaaaayyyy have possibly gone to the power plant.

**Down Under**: Oh no... you didn't.

**Judge Man**: ?

**Down Under**: That's where Jaden dueled Jinzo, when Torrey accidentally summoned him.

**Judge Man**: excuse me but … HE SUMMONED WHAT

**Dr. Robotnik**: How did I not hear about this…

**Down Under**: Winter break.

**Dr. Robotnik**: oh.

**Polymerization**: I… I maaaay have possibly taken a spare PDA… and

**Polymerization**: Downloaded Jinzo onto the chatting software?

**Card Game Tarzan**: ...

**Dr. Robotnik**: …

**Down Under**: ...

**Judge Man**: Jaden. Can. Do. That.

**Dr. Robotnik**: Jaden can hack. It's official. It's indisputable.

**Dot EXE**: WELL I SUPPOSE IT'S BETTER THAN NOT EXISTING. AT LEAST I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO.

**Polymerization**: No taking over the world. Or I ban you

**Dot EXE**: FINE. I WILL SIMPLY CHAT AT MY LEISURE AND WON'T ASK FOR TRIBUTES IF THAT ALLOWS ME TO REMAIN HERE AND NOT BE NONEXISTENT.

**Polymerization**: Good Jinzo :D

**7:00 P.M **

**Lightning McQueen** has rejoined **I was testing chat.**

**Cyber Blader** has rejoined **I was testing chat.**

**KuriTHOT** has rejoined **I was testing chat.**

**Polymerization**: Wow. So, on the topic of what happened to Syrus. Uh, what actually happened?

: **My wrath. **

**Lightning McQueen**: P A I N

**Polymerization**: which means?

: Swimming lessons.

**Lightning McQueen**: drowning.

: Weekly Swimming Lessons.

**Lightning McQueen**: weekly drownings.

**Card Game Tarzan**: Wait, hold the phone on the punishment for a moment please. Jasmine rejoined?

**KuriTHOT**: Yeah, I'm over it.

**Curious George**: Ook. Am Sorry.

**KuriTHOT**: Apology accepted. I already like forgave you back then, when I realized why you kidnapped me.

**Curious George**: Oook Ayyy.

**Card Game Tarzan**: ok then.

**Card Game Tarzan**: …

**Card Game Tarzan**: Wait was that a pun?

**Cyber Blader**: I think so?

**Cyber Blader**: Do omnapoetia's work as puns? Or is it a different type of joke?

**Curious George**: Ook. Semantics. Bullshit.

**Cyber Blader**: Fair enough

**Polymerization**: Oh yeah. You're also back Alexis. What happened to you?

**Cyber Blader**: I was an idiot and chose the same hiding spot I always choose.

**Polymerization**: Lighthouse?

**Cyber Blader**: Lighthouse.

: Her punishment is to be Syrus's swimming teacher.

**Cyber Blader**: At first it didn't feel like a punishment, until I learned how bad Syrus is at swimming. Or rather how good he is at drowning.

: He actually almost drowned in a centimeter high puddle in preschool.

**Lightning McQueen**: Hey! In my defense it was a very menacing puddle!

**Neito Monoma**: Wow, I know I'm repeating myself but, Zane really knows how to push people's buttons

**Judge Man**: I must agree, turning his anger into a method of punishment that allows him to not only satisfy his own anger, but also benefit his own brother in terms of a skill that could prove very useful due to being on an island, is quite intellectual.

**Neito Monoma**: A win-win for him.

**KuriTHOT**: It's actually kind of scary. And also kind of hot.

**Cyber Blader**: This is why you don't fuck with Zane.

**Polymerization**: Noted

**Neito Monoma**: Noted

**Judge Man**: Noted

**Card Game Tarzan**: Noted

: Language

**Cyber Blader**: ...noted

**Down Under**: JADEN! SOMETHING JUST BLEW UP IN THE KITCHEN!

**Polymerization**: …

**Lightning McQueen**: …

**Polymerization**: …

**Polymerization**: Hey Bastion, can we eat at the Ra Yellow Dorms again?

**Judge Man**: … yes that is fine.

**Jaden - Polymerization **

**Syrus - Lightning McQueen **

**Chumley - Down Under**

**Alexis - Cyber Blader**

**Chazz - You Go Bye-Bye**

**Bastion - Judge Man **

**Zane - **

**Dimitri - Neito Monoma**

**Briar - Megamind **

**Beauregard - Heavy Weapons Guy**

**Harrison - ?**

**Belowski - Mokey Mokey Motherfucker**

**Damien - Card Game Tarzan**

**Jasmine - KuriTHOT **

**Mindy - MEGA THOT**

**Torrey - ?**

**Jinzo - Dot EXE**

**Wheeler - Curious George**

**Blair - ?**

**My Jaden is a combination of the hyperactive dub Jaden and the slightly more playful and serious Jaden from the original, combined with a sprinkle of… additional knowledge in spirits. BTW he isn't the one actually hacking, Winged Kuriboh is. :L . Anyhow, don't expect too many more spirits, I just wanted one in because I thought it would be funny.**

**Also this group chat currently takes place literally in between the School Duel and the Shadow Riders Arc.**

**Either way, sorry for slow updates, my motivation decided to take a vacation. **


End file.
